Grief is the deep sorrow and sadness we feel after losing someone or something important to us.  It can happen after the death of a loved one, an end to a relationship, or the loss of a pet.  Grief is a natural and normal response to loss, it can deeply affect our mental health and overall well-being.

The Impact of Grief on Mental Health

• Feeling sad is a primary reaction to loss, sadness will sometimes lead into depression.
• Grief can make people feel anxious and worried, they might constantly think about loss and fear the future without the person or thing they lost.
• Its common to feel angry after a loss, feeling angry at themselves, others, or even the person who has died.
• Some people experience guilt, wishing they had more time or if they could of prevent the loss.
• Grief can also cause physical issues such as headaches, stomach problems, and trouble sleeping.
• People can deal with grief by withdrawing and feeling like no understands their pain.

Understanding the Grieving Process

These stages are not linear, people move through these feelings differently.

• Denial: Disbelief and shock are common, feeling numb and finding it hard to accept what has happened.
• Anger: You might feel frustrated and helpless, and the anger you feel can be directed at yourself, others, or the situation.
• Bargaining: This stage involves thinking about “what if” and “if only” scenarios, as you might dwell on what you could have done differently.

Acceptance: Eventually, you may come to accept the loss and know that it doesn’t mean you have to forget them but instead find a way to live with the loss

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Coping with Grief

While grief can feel overwhelming, there are ways to cope and find a path of healing.

1. Sharing your feelings with a loved one can help you process your emotions.
2. It’s important to recognize and accept your emotions what they might be.   It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or guilty, all these feelings are a part of grieving process.
3. Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising.  Taking care of your body can help you manage the stress and physical symptoms of grief.
4. Establishing a daily routine can provide a sense of normalcy and control during a chaotic time and finding ways to express your grief by engaging in hobbies, writing, or creating a memorial to honor them, can help you feel more grounded and stable.

If your grief feels unbearable or lasts a very long time, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor.  Here we have amazing professionals that help guide your through your healing journey , find your therapist here.

Helping Others with Grief

1. Be there: Sometimes, just being present is enough.  Let them know you are there for them.
2. Listen: Allow them to talk about their feelings and memories, without offering solutions or advice.
3. Offer Practical Help:  Help with daily tasks, such as cooking, running errands, or looking after children to relieve the stress.
4. Be Patient and Encourage Help:  If their grief seems unmanageable, gently suggest they seek further help and allow them to heal at their own pace because it can take time, it does not look the same for everybody.

How Divorce Affects Children

Emotional and Behavioral Impact:

1. When parents divorce, children often feel sad and may grieve the loss of their family as they once knew it to be.  Some children may act out or show changes in behavior as a sign for attention.
2. Children might not understand why their parents are getting divorced,  this can lead to confusion and may lead to a sense of insecurity about the future.  Younger children may revert to earlier behaviors such as bedwetting and needing more attention and reassurance.
3. Some children feel angry about the divorce and might blame one or both parents, feeling as though it was the fault of actions that took place.
4. Moving to a new home or changing schools can make children feel anxious and stressed, they might worry about how their lives will change.  The stress might cause the children to loss concentration and affect their performance in school.

Long-Term Effects

• Divorce can impact how children view relationships and fear that other relationships will also end in separation.
• Some children might struggle with their emotional health in the long term, experiencing issues like depression.

Some children develop strong coping skills and resilience from experiencing the separation of their parents.  It can help them become more independent by handing difficult situations.  For more info,  click here

How Divorce Affects Parents

Emotional, Financial, and Parenting Challenges

1. Divorce is often a stressful process, worrying about the future, finances, and the children.  One parent might be required to pay child support or alimony, which can add to their financial burden.
2. Like their children, parents also go through a grieving process.  After the divorce, one parent might find themselves shouldering most of the parenting responsibilities.  This can be overwhelming and exhausting.
3. Divorce can lead to anger and conflict between parents.  The legal costs including court fees, lawyers, and other related costs can add financial stress.  Splitting from one to two households can double the expenses as well including housing, utilities, and everyday necessities.
4. For parents who share custody, coordinating schedules, and making joint decisions about their children’s lives can be challenging.  Parents need to provide emotional support to their children while also managing their own emotions, this can be a difficult balance to strike.

How can we cope?

• Encouraging children to express their feelings by asking questions and having an age appropriate open dialogue to help them feel safe and heard.
• Maintaining routines and stability to help the children and parents feel secure.
• Professional counseling or support groups can be beneficial by providing safe space for children and parents to find coping strategies.

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• Ensuring each parent spends quality time with both parents alone and separate.  Every child has different needs and wants that must be met.
• Parents take care of your mental and physical health, find time to do the things you like including exercise, seeking support, or dancing.  Its vital to see parents genuinely happy.
• Effective co-parenting involves good communication, respect, and cooperation.  It may not always be easy but its vital to be the peacekeeper of your family.
• Creating a budget and planning for expenses can alleviate the stressors of the future of any surprise payments.

Divorce is a difficult experience for everyone involved.  It all begins with your outlook on life, children only know what they see and hear around them that in return gives them the feelings that they learn to understand.  By understanding the effects of divorce and taking proactive steps to address them, families can emerge this challenging experience stronger and more resilient.

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend

With all the love sincerely,

Monique.

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