Category Archives: Individual Therapy

Family Matters of the Heart!!

As we approach the holiday season, it’s important to reflect on the complexities of family dynamics. I know firsthand how challenging this time can be, especially with the loss of loved ones and the drama that can arise among those still around. Coming from a large family with diverse ethnicities and cultures, I have fond memories of gatherings filled with love and laughter. In the past, these gatherings were a cherished tradition, but as our matriarchs have passed and families have drifted apart, those moments have become rare. I often find myself longing for the warmth and joy we once shared, including the lighthearted gossip that often accompanied our celebrations.

The pandemic further complicated our family interactions, as concerns over health led to decreased participation in gatherings. My family has always been a cornerstone of my identity, encompassing both my biological relatives and my chosen family. Unfortunately, my own challenges have added to the strain. After a car accident involving family members, I faced a difficult insurance lawsuit against my cousin. This situation caused some family members to distance themselves from me, and I encountered criticism for my decisions.

Compounding these issues, I am part of the LGBTQIA community. I came out publicly with my wife during the lawsuit, which was not well received by some family members. As a result, when I was invited to gatherings, it often felt like I was walking on eggshells, with an unspoken tension surrounding our situation.

This holiday season marks the first time my wife and I will attend family gatherings as a married couple since the lawsuit concluded two years ago. Throughout this tumultuous period, I have accomplished a great deal: I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, started my master’s program, recovered from extensive back surgery, and moved into my first home with my wife.

I understand how difficult these situations can be, and I hope we can all find ways to navigate our family relationships and still enjoy the holidays.

Family plays a big role in our lives. It can greatly affect our mental health, which is how we think and feel. When families are supportive and loving, it helps us feel safe and happy. However, when there are problems, it can lead to stress and sadness.

Here are some tips I have learned:

Stressful Family Situations

Not all families are supportive. Some families may argue a lot or have problems that make members feel anxious. For instance, if parents are going through a divorce, children might feel caught in the middle. They may worry about the future or feel guilty about the situation. This kind of stress can lead to issues like depression or anxiety, which affect a person’s overall well-being. Differences in opinions including politics can seperate family and create resentment. With their being even more ways for a family to have tension it can truly impact one another as anger is a secondary emotion, deep down there is sadness for the situation at hand.

Communication and Boundaries 

If families started talking openly about their feelings and allow for all to be seen and heard, we can all handle problems better. When everyone expresses their thoughts, it helps to reduce misunderstandings by validating each other for how they feel but leaving room fod there to be a resolution. For instance, if a adult feels overwhelmed by childhood trauma, discussing it with parents and other family members can lead to solutions and creating boundaries. This communication helps strengthen family bonds and improves mental health.

The Role of Family Activities

Additionally, spending time together as a family can also enhance boundaries. Create a new space to be open to creating new memories, but not replace, can create a new direction forward. Activities like family dinners, game nights, or outings provide a chance to connect. These moments create happy memories and reinforce relationships. When family members enjoy time together, it builds a sense of belonging, which is crucial for emotional health.  Sometimes you have to be the one to engage these activities.

If you or your family is struggling, it’s important to seek help. Therapy or counseling can provide support and teach families how to communicate better. A professional can help identify issues and suggest ways to resolve conflicts. This support can make a significant difference in the mental health of everyone involved.

Click the link to view our staff that would best fit your needs,   https://www.apexwesternwayne.com/our-staff/

Family matters greatly when it comes to mental health. A loving and supportive family can help us feel secure and happy. However, stressful situations and poor communication can lead to mental health problems. By focusing on support, communication, and quality time, families can create a healthier environment. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help if needed. Taking care of our mental health is essential for a happy life.

Have a beautiful weekend lovies.

 

With love,

Monique

Understanding Fear: The Effects & How to Overcome It

What is Fear?

Fear is a natural and powerful emotion. It’s our body’s way of responding to danger or threat. Imagine walking alone at night and hearing footsteps behind you. That uneasy feeling is fear kicking in. It’s like an alarm system designed to protect us.

How Fear Affects the Body

When you’re scared, your body reacts in several ways. This is called the “fight or flight” response. Here’s what happens:

  • Heart Rate Increases: Your heart starts to beat faster. This pumps more blood to your muscles, preparing you to either run away or stand and fight.
  • Breathing Speeds Up: You might start to breathe faster. This gets more oxygen to your muscles and brain.
  • Muscles Tense: Your muscles become tighter, ready for action.
  • Sweating: You may start to sweat more. This cools your body down in case you need to exert yourself.
  • Dry Mouth and Dilated Pupils: Your mouth may go dry, and your pupils (the black part of your eyes) might get larger to take in more light.

How Fear Affects Mental Health

Fear doesn’t just affect your body; it also impacts your mind. If you feel scared all the time, it can lead to:

  • Anxiety: Constant fear can make you feel worried or nervous, even when there’s no immediate danger.
  • Stress: Fear causes stress, and long-term stress can lead to health problems like headaches, high blood pressure, and trouble sleeping.
  • Avoidance: You might start avoiding situations that make you feel scared, which can limit your activities and reduce your quality of life.
  • Depression: In some cases, ongoing fear can contribute to feelings of sadness or hopelessness.

Types of Fear

There are different kinds of fear:

  • Rational Fear: This is a fear of something that is actually dangerous, like a wild animal.
  • Irrational Fear (Phobia): This is an intense fear of something that isn’t really dangerous, like spiders or heights.
  • Anxiety: This is a general feeling of fear or worry about everyday situations.

Ways to Cope with Fear

Thankfully, there are ways to manage and reduce fear. Here are some strategies:

  1. Understand Your Fear: Try to figure out what exactly you’re afraid of. Sometimes just knowing what’s causing your fear can help you feel more in control.
  2. Deep Breathing: When you feel scared, take slow, deep breaths. This can help calm your body and mind.
  3. Positive Thinking: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” tell yourself, “I can handle this.”
  4. Gradual Exposure: If you’re afraid of something, try facing it a little at a time. For example, if you’re scared of dogs, start by looking at pictures of dogs, then gradually work up to being near a dog.
  5. Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve your mood.
  6. Talk About It: Share your fears with someone you trust. Sometimes just talking about what scares you can help make it feel less frightening.
  7. Relaxation Techniques: Practices like yoga, meditation, or listening to calming music can help reduce fear and anxiety.

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Facing Your Fears

Facing your fears can be challenging, but it’s a crucial step in overcoming them. Here’s how you can start:

  1. Make a Plan: Write down your fear and make a step-by-step plan to face it. Start with something small and gradually take bigger steps.
  2. Set Goals: Set specific goals and reward yourself when you achieve them.
  3. Stay Positive: Keep a positive attitude. Remember, it’s okay to feel scared. The important thing is to keep trying.
  4. Practice Patience: Overcoming fear takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
  5. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a professional. You don’t have to face your fears alone.

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Conclusion

Fear is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. While it can have significant effects on your body and mental health, there are many ways to manage and overcome it.

 

Sincerely,

Monique

Have an amazing weekend.

 

 

References:

Apex Western Wayne. (2016, April 22). Our staff | Apex Western Wayne. Apex Western Wayne | Putting Things in Motion. https://www.apexwesternwayne.com/our-staff/

ChatGPT. (n.d.). https://chatgpt.com/c/15b4a2d7-318a-4f0c-a828-54a9c2862808

Menting, B. a. M. (2023, May 11). The chill of fear. Harvard Medicine Magazine. https://magazine.hms.harvard.edu/articles/chill-fear