THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS, Let’s Heal Together.
We’re living in a time where so many people are trying to navigate the world with a mix of fear, confusion, optimism, and, above all, an unspoken desire for healing. It’s as if we’re all walking around carrying invisible weights that no one can see but we all feel. Sometimes, it feels easier to go numb, to repress the pain we’ve experienced, to hide behind a mask of everyday life. But what if the most important thing we could do for ourselves was face the pain head-on, be honest with ourselves, and begin the long, messy process of healing?
I’ve learned that healing isn’t pretty. It isn’t easy. And it certainly doesn’t come with any guarantees. But one thing is for sure—it’s necessary. We are all healing from something—whether it’s childhood trauma, relationship struggles, the scars of past mistakes, or something more recent. But that doesn’t mean we can’t show up for others in their healing journey, or that we should expect others to do the same for us. The truth is, you don’t have to be “perfect” or “healed” to be there for someone else. But you do need to be real with yourself. The journey of healing is personal, unique to each individual, and at times incredibly painful, but it is also life-changing in ways we can’t even begin to imagine.
For a long time, I ran from my trauma. I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want to feel the pain, the shame, or the fear. But life has a way of pulling you into a place where you can’t escape it. And for me, that moment came when I had an unexpected and major surgery at the age of 24. I had a whole future ahead of me, but suddenly, I was staring at my own vulnerability and mortality. The recovery was long, brutal, and full of obstacles I didn’t expect.
When I think back on that time, I realize that it wasn’t just the surgery that left me broken. It was the years of repressed trauma that I had been carrying, burying under the surface. It wasn’t until I was forced to slow down, to rest, and to face the pain that I realized how much I had been avoiding. I thought I was doing okay, but deep down, I knew I was hiding from things that had happened to me—things I didn’t want to confront.
It wasn’t just physical pain I had to deal with—it was emotional pain, generational trauma that had been passed down in subtle ways over the years, manifesting in unhealthy coping mechanisms. For me, it was opioids. A seemingly innocent prescription after my surgery when I was a child turned into a problem that I didn’t realize for multiple years, that coping isn’t using a vice to continue to numb. I have a difficult relationship with pain whether it be physically or emotionally. But when I realized I was steering the car load I was in, I could turn left or right, and it was time to make that choice. I could let the numbing and addiction define me, or I could take control of my life again. I found my small support system and I made the decision to fight back, to reclaim my life but that decision was hard and I have taken 10 steps forward and 10 steps back multiple times.
And that’s when it all hit me: healing is important—and it’s not just about dealing with the obvious pain. It’s about confronting the emotional and mental scars that we often don’t even know we have. Trauma doesn’t just affect the body; it seeps into our minds and hearts, and it becomes harder and harder to heal if we don’t face it. In July of 2022, I made the decision to face those scars and finally begin the process of healing. The first year, I journaled, meditated, used my spirituality, and my support to start working through, after about 10 months, I found a therapist, someone who helped me understand that healing doesn’t look the same for everyone and that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
The Ugly Truth of Being Honest with Yourself
While healing, I have graduated with my bachelor’s degree, started my master’s degree with additional doctorate classes to get ahead, got married, moved into my own place, and suffered another injury to both my knees recently. Let me tell you first hand – there are days when the road to healing feels too long, too painful, and too exhausting. And yes, there are times when I’ve wanted to give up. But I’ve also learned that healing is not linear—it’s a messy, unpredictable journey. There will be times when you fall off the wagon, when you question your progress, when you want to turn back and hide and those days you just need to give yourself a break with extra love and take deep breathes – knowing this is temporary. But what I’ve learned is that accountability is the key to moving forward – which can be extremely uncomfortable. You can’t fool yourself, and the more you deny your truth, the more it will eat away at you.
The hardest thing about healing is looking in the mirror and seeing yourself for who you really are. It’s not about the version of you that you want to be or the version others expect. It’s about accepting the truth of your life, your choices, and your history but knowing you were perfectly made and nothing that has happened defines who you are or the changes you make to be a better person. When you do that, when you can truly look at your scars and say, “This is part of me, but it does not define me,” that’s when the real healing begins.
This is where generational trauma comes in. Whether we like it or not, we all carry the weight of our ancestors’ pain, mistakes, and unresolved issues. These patterns often repeat themselves, quietly influencing how we live, how we love, and how we heal. Breaking those cycles takes immense courage, and it requires that we take a hard look at ourselves and our past.
But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t happen alone. No one can do it alone. We need each other. We need the support of those around us, and we need the guidance of professionals. Therapy was a game-changer for me. And you know why they are a game-changer because they are here to serve us and our needs – not to tell but to help find yourself and strength again. Let’s be frank many cultures and stereotypes put a damper on seeking help but without trying, giving it a REAL chance, and being fully ready to change with accountability – we will never heal the generational traumas of yesterday. I honestly thought I could do it all on my own, that I had the strength to push through my own trauma. But it wasn’t until I found a therapist who helped me understand that healing is a journey, not a destination that I began to truly heal. And healing doesn’t have a time limit—it’s a lifelong process. It’s not about getting “over it,” it’s about learning to live with it, to integrate it into who we are and continue moving forward.
I want to open the floor to you—if you’re reading this, I know you’ve probably been through your own struggles, your own battles with trauma. Maybe you’re feeling like it’s too much to handle or like you’re never going to be okay. But I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. Your journey is valid. Your pain is valid. Your healing is important. And while it may be difficult, it is worth it. Let’s create a space where we can be honest with each other, where we can talk openly about our struggles, and where we can support each other on the journey to healing.
You are worthy of healing. You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of a life beyond the trauma. And that’s a truth worth fighting for.
If you’ve struggled, if you’ve been through your own battles with mental health or addiction, or if you’ve started your own healing journey—I want to hear from you. This is a safe space. Let’s share our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs. Healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, but we’re all in this together. If you feel our place is a right fit for you to start your journey, please don’t be shy and let us help you as I had to learn to help myself with my own journey. But before or during finding your needs – please share your story because I want to hear from you.
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With love ,
Your Friend Brianna – AKA Bri
Let this song remind you of your strength to know, You are not alone, and we all deserve to heal.
References
American Psychological Association. (2021). Trauma and the brain: How trauma affects the brain and body. Retrieved from www.apa.org
Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2015). Principles of trauma therapy: A guide to symptoms, evaluation, and treatment (2nd ed.). Sage Publications.
Dale, P., & Landon, R. (2018). Healing from trauma: How to build resilience and reclaim your life. HarperCollins.
Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2013). Motivational interviewing: Helping people change (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press.
Van Der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
